your-gaze

Your petrifying gaze

Your petrifying gaze
fills me with heavens and fills me with joy,
yet it floods me with horrors and fright:

“Why don’t you love me,
why do you treat me as a toy?”

“They’d comment, they’d judge us
They’d do it and how!
They’d discover all our sins …”

“My sin appears to be, I do not know to bow -
to the small rules and things
of little value;
How I wish you’d love me
and forget the world’s howl!”

“We are part of our worlds, we play our part in these times,
I will not have them judge me, inventing me crimes!”

“I would have left the world for you,
I would have never looked back,
But your beautiful eyes
have told me - nothing,
not even common lies!
I chose to believe them,
And love you with all my heart…”

“Yet you have not come to me,
You have not given me my part!”

“But I have been waiting for your call - to me,
It would have felt so –
so very - heavenly!
But you chose to let me go away,
Since then I cry both night and day!”

“It was the very best I could do,
Go into the world,
I do not really love you!”

Thus sang the sad songs into my mind,
Thus is what I imagined he’d say,
If he’d have had the might!

And so I wander, sometimes there,
but mostly here,
accepting life treating me
with its eternal sneer!