anonyma-academic-affair

In the Realm of Jasmine (an Academic Affair)

And so once more poor Anonyma found herself running away, with her few belongings, with the few books she could carry, running, thinking, crying, but not looking behind. She knew Abyssus would not follow her, she knew he loved her, and that he’d probably be looking out the window with tears menacing his eyes, but she knew he would never come after her, not at such a time.

Running and crying she thought of her father, she missed him so dearly, she felt so very small, wounded like a bird, hurt like a child and lonely as only a woman can be at moments in her life!

Oh, Father, when telling me <My love, you’re such a dreamer you wouldn’t know to choose between day and night!>, dear Father, how could you have been so right? Yet the problem I wish to know is which to love and which to let go? In life it is such that when we find the right man, we do not care much - yet when we find the wrong one we would give all, even our honour, as to taste a drop of his amour!

Tired of running, eyes red from the tears that came down in waves, she halted a minute and saw her situation in all its painfulness.

How could I have been so foolish as not to see, neither one has really loved me! I continue to ask myself which one to choose, but in reality solving this dilemma has absolutely no use – for neither one of them is free to love, neither one can understand my need, and even if they would, neither would come to my relief! One has the heart as black as his eyes, the other a soul colder than ice! Oh, dear Father, how could I have been so blind and not see, their ego is too grand to let live in it any Beauty? Father, oh, Father, where should I go from here? How long must my voyage be in order to uncover that secret that will make my heart jump with glee? … There must be an answer to my quest and yearning, I will go into the real world, and find there my learning!

Petit Anonyma searched high and low, until she found a place in the real world to call her own. It was a small, provincial town, with a tremendous bourgeois life, but all wrapped up in a glamorous academic gown. 

This is just the place I’ve been searching for, a place where towards knowledge I can find the door! I wish to forget and I need to find a cure to my desire, I wish to express my feelings and for this end Language I must acquire! In a country that lies towards where the sun sets I will find my peace, I will be tranquil and find my ease! I will lose myself in this busy little gathering, I will be anonymous, and forget of love’s distressful laboring!  

Timorously she looked about her and observed the customs, she understood they were not prepared to understand of life’s higher values. The people seemed to aspire for so very little, craving for objects, they regarded money as having true glitter. To the mind and soul almost nothing they would grant, but rejecting the body absolutely no want - they’d give in to any petty longings, but allocate no place to love and its courtships. The funniest thing Anonyma understood was that although all this was done in broad daylight, they would reject the idea and hate anybody telling them so with all their might. To Beauty and Truth they showed nothing more than scorn, yet they had the arrogance to say their souls had high adorn.

Poor, humble souls! Poor, innocent devils! Wouldn’t they know they are subject to the worst of perils?! Why cannot they understand they put value on nothing? Why cannot they see their lives are just a bluffing?  

Anonyma understood the pitifulness of the real world, but nevertheless she was curious to learn its worth. So she started to make for her a new identity, putting much into her style, but leaving out much according to the requests of the ruling superficiality.

I must be pretty and sweet, for this appears to be what they admire, yet I must not forget to be intelligent, if I want to survive in this mire! I must be free, but not too independent, I must be interesting, but not passionate, for their middle class minds cannot be much questioned! Above all, they cherish their comfort and so-called riches - in the end they’re nothing more than hypocrite wenches!

First and foremost Anonyma changed her name to Jasmine, a gift from the old gods the real world had long forgotten. She assumed the role of a prosperous lawyer’s daughter, a highly educated girl, with the manners of a lady. She was a vision of loveliness – ah, what a pity!

She clapped her hands and instantly appeared a bag of shinny pounds. She presented herself as a delicate flower from a land in the east, in this new world her father should have been seen more honorable than a priest. She herself would have been treated as an angel fallen from the skies, if these people could have been able to see true value where it lies. But this was not to be the fortune of Jasmine – for the heart of human beings is full of loathing!

She went on through the streets of the old town singing merely, she was happy she’d started her life as a student in the University!

I shall learn so much! I feel I shall discover the great secret I search for, I shall receive all the teachings I truly seek and adore in the classrooms that lie between the walls of this temple of lore!
The clock struck five as Jasmine went to her class, she sat down in the line, next to the others. Her deep green eyes were looking down, little was she aware that when lifting them up she would lose her heart and life would come to a fresh new start.

There he was with his huge dark eyes, with his raven’s black hair and his skin not so fair, standing in front of them all, but giving her a stare. A stare that would stir in her troubled soul tempests she felt she could not control. And his voice, so manly it made in her heart a gore - where had she heard this voice before?
Oh, the pain! Oh, the delight! The anguish, the pleasure – she felt she was going crazy, she could not eat in the day, nor sleep in the night. In a second she had forgotten all, where did she come from, what was she searching for?

Days went by and she knew no rest – he was so handsome, so intelligent – was he to be the one that would give a name to her quest?

But what is the name of this master of words? Benvenuto – highly praised and much renowned - a man of letters, whose name wears a crown. A man in his fifties, one that has wondered the seven seas –  along the way he has gathered titles and favors of so-called ladies, poor little Jasmine – what were her odds? Oh, hazard – you are the revenge of the gods!

But she could hear not the voice of reason, she lost track of common sense – oh, heart, thy pleasure is called treason!

In her passionate, yet carefully controlled way she would go to see him in his sanctuary. She struggled to learn, if not for her own awareness, at least him to amaze, but the small creature would tremble under the weight of her feelings.

She could not understand Why is it that some times I see him looking at me with so much interest, but then at other times he puts so much distance? Why is it every time I come next to him I can’t even remember my name, I can’t even articulate two words – how I wish he’d do something!

But Jasmine’s problems were far bigger than the ones of her heart, for a cruel, influential woman by the name of Yora was nourishing for her a great hatred! A hatred that sprung from the noblest feeling - she had been rejected by Jasmine and now wanted her end. She would stop at nothing: lies, intrigues, plots and slandering.

In the meantime a young, rich and dashing lad by the name of Giovanni had set his desire on conquering the delicate, eastern flower.  

Yet Jasmine would not hear of him, she had no room in her interests for some other but her master, she could not conceive of being anybody else’s mistress. Of Giovannis and Yoras she would hear not, only next to Benvenuto she wanted to find her happy lot.

But the young man was shrewd and infatuated with himself, he knew no shame in his attempt. He wasn’t prepared to suffer defeat, he would have Jasmine even if he’d have to cheat.

Manly as he was, Benvenuto had doubts: isn’t the sweet little thing too pretty, too young? What would people say if I’d invite her out? Isn’t she poor, coming from the east, maybe she just wants through me to gain access at the bourgeois feast?

Whilst the two dark knights were with Jasmine dreaming, Yora was against her plotting and scheming: gathering all data she could put her hands on, trying to find out where exactly she had come from. She would invent words Jasmine had never said, she tried to denigrate her in every way she could - and how easy it is for anyone to believe a pretty woman from a distant realm can only have devious intentions and dim secrets to hide – sadly indeed, this is the way things go in life!

Every day Jasmine went to school, most happy in her torture, she tried herself intelligent to prove. But she could not think of anything but his dark-brown eyes, his sonorous voice, his manly posture – to her his words felt like ambrosia from the deities, she felt she could love him until the end of the galaxies.
She felt immortal when he looked at her, she felt she could fly whenever he passed her by. If ever it happened that he would speak to her, she would be afraid to answer as not to err.  

Oh, Father, whatever am I to do, could it ever be that he’d love me too?

In the same time that Jasmine lost her rest, Benvenuto himself could not sleep with excitement – he constantly thought what he could do to present himself in a way that would help to her conquest.

Yet while he put much attention in how she would see and hear him, the voice of society kept in his head creeping. It constantly told him how ridiculous it would show for him to appear in public with a woman that had such a glow.  

On top of it all, does she even like me? With our women it’s so very simple, the ones that have an interest, will jump onto the man without the least distress. This one is strange, what does she want? She looks at me in such a passionate way, yet she doesn’t come onto me, she seems like she wants to play! But what could be the nature of this game, is it that through me she wants access to money, position, fame?

Whilst their meetings in his sanctuary grew in intensity, and both were mad with delight, Yora contacted Giovanni and joined forces in this fight.

Jasmine would look into Benvenuto’s profound, big eyes and feel again what she had thought she left behind. His handsome tanned hue, the pace of his voice, she was so in love with him she hardly dared to rejoice.

Maybe she’s just shy, or maybe…could it be true, that she is one from the old school who waits for the man to come with the first cue?

After having passed the final test, Jasmine sent a missive to her master, telling him in verse what she could not otherwise express.

Since the first moment I have met you
I have known eternity
And love too!
I cannot imagine, nor do I dare to ever aspire
That you might consider me worthy
Of your interior fire!

Receiving her letter in his sanctuary, Benvenuto felt like a god from above, he couldn’t believe what fortune made him the preferred of the loveliest girl in the burg, the one any man would have given anything to see without her garb.

Intoxicated with the idea of attaining the mysteries of the one so desired, the one whom had stirred such gossip and jealousy, Benvenuto went and asked Jasmine if she would like with him to marry.

“Jasmine, my little white flower, I am not as sophisticated as you, or your countrymen! I am a barbarian, by comparison! Yet I want you to wed me, let us live together and be forever happy!”

“You know I worship you, my love, my life - but I will never be for you the perfect wife! You know I cannot conform to the vulgarity of this world, and neither to its hypocrisy! I will always be perceived as having odd ways, people will look at you and comment what we do in the nights and in the days…”

“Sweet child, for this I do not care – for once in my life to be ecstatic I wish to dare! For once in my life I want to know what true love is and not just taste of physical bearings! For once I want to see if life I can capture, and stop this mimicking – you, Jasmine, you are my rapture!”

Next to the sea, in a small village of old valiant people, the two exchanged their passionate vows – how blissful they felt, whilst Fate was sharpening her poisonous arrows.

Giovanni was enraged, he felt he could put fire to the bourgeois town, Yora was laughing like mad while telling him her plan:

“The gods are on our side, can you not perceive? They are so much in love, they’ll falter easily! When feelings are so strong, one loses common decency, if another comes whispering lies, one will trust presently!”

The burg was all astir with the news of such liaison, people could not believe that Benvenuto married the pretty Eastern.

Beautiful as they were, full of joy and so involved with each other - they looked like a match made in Paradise, they were a handsome sight for sore eyes.

But then it came, Yora’s old tricks, simple as they were, they had all the effectiveness.

She started a rumor of a debt Jasmine would not pay her back, a petty sum of money nobody knew about. Jasmine didn’t even understand why was the old hypocrite making so much scandal, for two pieces of worthless coins Yora wanted a battle.

“I have no debts with you, you sneaky, cruel creature, but if you wish those coins, I’ll gladly have them delivered!”

“No, my pretty, I’ll have nobody give them to me, but you and only you, personally! Come in the dark, next to the river, we shall meet there, and I’ll relief you of your commitment! But come by yourself– I want to see you alone, do not bring your man, or any other person.”

Meanwhile, as planned, Giovanni met with Benvenuto and gave him a smile:

“You should really feel shame, such a beautiful woman, and you are so lame! Poor little creature, to have such a pitiful obligation, two mere coins, but you do nothing for her alleviation. Luckily for her to me this is trifle, and as we are for a long time lovers, I will relief her of such baffle. If you don’t believe me, then come this night, next to the water, then maybe you’ll see the light!”

Benvenuto felt the ground was shaking, his nerves started boiling, his heart was trembling.

What is this clown speaking of? What coins, what debt? And how could he be her lover – have I been but a fool, has she been my trapper?

Later in the night all went to the river, the moon was coming out, they all felt the fever.

“Anonyma, sweet little thing, you came as we planned, just at the right timing!”

Jasmine, Anonyma to say the truth, stopped for a moment, not understanding the scheme, but she felt something dirty was the going. In the first place what was Giovanni doing there, in the second, how could he have known her true name – what was this? What kind of game?

Benvenuto was in the bushes, he saw Jasmine not saying a word, and applying his values he made up her worth. But wrong was his judgment and blinded by his prejudices, he did not see Yora was just a few steps away, the mastermind of this disgrace, having her say. Blinded by jealousy, he misinterpreted all of Jasmine’s saying and doing, the way she rejected Giovanni he saw as her intricate wooing. 

This is the kind I have married, this is to whom my name I’ve given – I brought her into this marvelous world, and for an idiot I have been taken!

He thought of going and killing the arrogant youth, but then he thought of how that on his image would prove! The great Professor, the great Academician, subject to a jealousy crime – what monstrous perdition!  
Yet he could not let the little pretty one to get by, how would the world regard this well-crafted lie? His spouse, a woman that not only has debts, but goes around flirting with young lads! He, the old goat, with horns as apparel, he would not pardon her, she has to go to hell!

Thus he sent her a short, simple message I am waiting for you, my love, in the sanctuary!
He would kill her there, with his bare hands, then would drag her little body out in the balcony, and throw it in the interior court – people would think she had died from her own volition within the grounds of the Academy, no one would find it strange, since to them she seemed to come out of an old tragedy.  

Anonyma felt strange, she felt very worried What is the meaning of this, how could he know? I left him in his study, in the house, not long ago!

As she went towards the University trembling in the obscurity, a big black bird came to her side crowing loudly.

“Oh, leave me alone, you silly dark fowl, can’t you see I’m in a hurry? Can’t you go somewhere else to howl?”

But the bird would not let go, he came next to her, sat on her shoulder, and gave her a bewaring stare.

Then she understood, she foresaw it all, and without hesitating decided in a blink, she had to run off again, this time taking nothing. Nothing but tears, leaving nothing behind but one big lie, she was so ravished, felt this time she’d surely die.